How To Own Your Stuff
Creating any sort of change is far from easy, regardless of whether this is a change in your own personal habits, a change in your team or a change within a large organization. And yet, if we want improvement or progress, change is essential.
So, what is the biggest obstacle to change? It’s fairly simple – most of us are ashamed to simply admit to and own our ‘stuff’. By this, I mean behaviours that may not have served a situation effectively, habits that are keeping us stuck, limited thinking that may not have originally been conscious but now is, and suchlike. Our egos do not like to admit that maybe we have done things or are doing things that don’t work. But in order to create positive change, we have to take our egos down a few pegs and admit to our habits before we can change them.
The thing is, we often won’t own our stuff because we get tangled up in the beating up of ourselves around it or trying to justify it, or hide it or we simply go into a defensive denial. We all do it. I haven’t met one person who doesn’t do this on some level.
So here’s the strategy:
- Be honest, admit to the habits and own them with some self-compassion.
- Humour helps. Laughing at yourself in a kind way is a brilliant thing to do.
- Remember, there are always reasons why the habits got established in the first place. They probably worked once. It’s just that things have changed and now they don’t. That’s it. Put down the self-beating stick!
- Don’t explain or justify. Just own it.
- Aim for tiny shifts, day by day. Go for progress over ideal. Progress is everything.